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Therapy Without Insurance (1st Winner, Who Freaking Cares Writing Contest for Poetic Rejects)

The phone rings. I answer. It's always disappointment. / It's always death, responsibility or my ex-wife calling to ask / if she can have half of the Christmas decorations.

The phone rings. I answer. It’s always disappointment.

It’s always death, responsibility or my ex-wife calling to ask
if she can have half of the Christmas decorations.

I briefly contemplate my marital assets. The phone rings.
I hurry to it, thinking I won’t answer it this time.
I am sick of receiving.

I reach for it anyway to let myself down.
I say hello, consider confessing my love,
imagine me and this inevitable burden
driving away in a cream-colored Cadillac,
fleeing the scene of something to be determined.

This incessant communication keeps me from
loneliness, I justify it that way. The phone rings
as I take a bite of a black forest cake, the
cherry rolls off my fork and onto the floor.

Damn, I wish I had Caller ID,
I wish I had witness protection.

I tug the phone cord out of the wall,
it lands beside the cherry.

Stretched between relief and guilt,
eating my fingernails, I think about
burying the phone in the yard beside
my niece’s hamster-in-a-shoebox.

My cell phone rings. I am furious,
I answer it without looking, say only “What?”
I hear nothing but my own feet stamping.

All calls are coming from inside the house.

Taken aback, I scurry to the car, drive to BestBuy,
charge three new phones to my credit card.
All day long, they call each other.
I tell no one and no one asks.

Angel Rosen

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